Issue #1: The show was the reason we found out we were dating the same guy

Hey there,

Welcome to Ask a Fuckboy’s semi-regular newsletter where we’ll 1.) share when tickets drop for our next show 2.) spotlight the craziest texts and stories from our live show. 3.) offer an update on our respective dating lives (or lack thereof)

Ticket Drop:

• January 16th show - SOLD OUT

• February 13th show - HALF LEFT

• February 15th show - JUST DROPPED

Recent Show/Popup/Life Highlights:

1. Two Girls, One Fuckboy

You might already know the end of this story if you attended our killer 10/16 show (or if you read the header of this email, you genius, you).

Over the summer, after our first successful show, our college friend came over for poker night with a “perfect fuckboy story” to share. She told us all about how much this guy, with whom she matched on Raya, had been all over her at the start, but then quickly began flaking more than a croissant from La Cabra. He even told her he deleted the apps for her, only to turn around and cancel last minute to see the Celtics in the semi-finals.

Great story, right? We thought so too. Only problem was…that was Andie’s story too. About six weeks after our friend had matched with him, around the time he was telling her he had “deleted the apps,” he was using Raya to message Andie (guess he meant he had deleted like, the calculator app or something?)

This brazen fuckboy had already started to repeat his patterns on Andie by that time (even the one where he bailed for the Celtics). They had had plans to go out on Wednesday, but she already suspected he would flake on her. Once we put two and two together, Andie sent him this iconic text:

His response?

This has been a PSA about dating on Raya, in case you still needed one!

Some say he’s still out there to this day, lovebombing, flaking, and watching the Celtics by himself, blissfully unaware of what a psycho he is. ❤️ Ah, to be that free.

2. Bitter WAS Better

As part of a segment sponsored by Bark Bitters, we played a game where we asked the audience to submit bitter things they did following a breakup and then shared our favorites live!

Here’s the full video if you’d like to see all our glorious bitter baddies at work. Congrats to the gaslighter of the century who won. You truly earned those bitters, use them well.

3. Life Updates

Q. Andie, how’s dating going for you?

A. I’ve been going on dates with a doctor, which has been illuminating.

1. Con: He sometimes has to cancel dates when someone needs a kidney transplant.

2. Pro: I get to tell people he cancelled because someone needed a kidney transplant.

3. Pro: I have someone I can ask about all my hypochondriac thoughts.

4. Con: I convince myself I have whatever he treated that day (see: needs a kidney transplant)

Q. Val, how about you?

I finally bit the bullet and downloaded JSwipe (Jewish Tinder). It’s been…really bad. I feel like I’d do better on Christian Mingle at this rate.

Also, when you match someone, the app is like “Mazel Tov!” and shows a little dreidel spinning. Fitting, since the letters on a dreidel spell out “A Great Miracle Happened There” and that works because if I find someone on this app it’ll be a freakin’ miracle.

Thanks for reading!

Love, your favorite Down Baddies—

Andie and Val <3