Issue #5: He sent WHAT to her sister?

Hey there,

Welcome to Ask a Fuckboy’s semi-regular newsletter where 1.) we share ticket drops for our next show and 2.) spotlight the craziest texts and stories from our shows and community!

Ticket Drop:

• February 13th show - SOLD OUT

• February 15th show - SOLD OUT

• March 7th - JUST DROPPED

Story Highlights:Recent Show/Popup/Life Highlights:

1. Romeo, Romeo, Get Away from My Window

We are very excited that we are starting to get submissions of stories from our incredible and extremely unhinged greater community. Most recently, we received a video, linked HERE, that absolutely blew our minds.

In the video, a friend captured a conversation occurring outside her window, which is something I feel like only happens in Shakespeare. “What doth I hear outside mine window? But soft, tis a fuckboy!”

Here are some of our favorite quotes from these two dudes who didn’t seem to know or care that they were right outside someone’s apartment:

And finally, here’s the closer to what was already a wild ride:

In honor of our modern Romeo, here’s what he did in iambic pentameter:

She told him chill, but tears rolled down his face,
A fragile man, undone by her embrace.
She didn’t know the secrets he had spun,
Or how her sister was the other one.

Listen to the full thing here.

2. Life Updates

Q. Andie, how’s dating going for you?

A. I feel like sometimes I have a hard time dating because my parents set a really high standard for me (shoutout Boris and Nelli, of Cybertruck story fame). While it’s good that I have such nice role models for marriage in my life, it can also be somewhat discouraging to worry I’ll never live up to it myself. So, if anyone has really toxic parents they’d be willing to let me spend time with, that would be awesome! Especially if they’ve really fallen out of love and are just staying together, like, for the kids or even for the dog. Would really help take some of the pressure off, thank you!

Q. Val, how about you?

A. This is a real conversation I had on a date recently after entering a man’s very creepy apartment and seeing a boxcutter just sitting on the floor in his living room.

Me: Ha ha, nice boxcutter.

Him: Oh, yeah, I was cutting some boxes.

Me: And it’s just on the floor?

Him: Yeah, I guess. So you want to watch some Rick and Morty?

Me: I’ve gotta go call an Uber from the bathroom now.

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We’ll keep you guys in the loop, thanks for reading!

Oh, and send us your gossip/stories so we can feature them in our next newsletter/show.

Love, your favorite Down Baddies,

Andie and Val <3