Issue #8: "It's Always Been My Dream to Be a Bouncer"

Hey there,

Welcome to Ask a Fuckboy’s newsletter where we’ll 1.) announce ticket drops and 2.) spotlight the craziest texts and stories from our live show or community.

Ticket Drop:

• March 7th - 🗽NYC - SOME LEFT

• March 28th - 🏄 LA [our first LA show!!!] - AVAILABLE

• April 4th - 🗽 NYC - JUST DROPPED

Recent Show/Popup/Community Highlights:

1. Gotta Bounce

If you’ve been to one of our shows, then you know that before the house opens there can be a bit of a line. In order to help guide people to the proper place and not into the TD Bank, we’ve been hiring someone to help man the door. Then, because Andie is a genius, she was like, “He should be a shirtless male model, like Abercrombie used to have.” And hey, as far as bringing back early 2000s toxic Abercrombie culture goes, that’s not the worst idea to start with.

It was fun, but then for our show on the 13th, we couldn’t find any available male models, doormen, aspiring male models, or aspiring doormen. So Val did what she always does when she needs help with shenanigans, she turned to family (see: her dad’s “stunt driver” IMDb credit).

For context, Val’s little brother is living his best Gen-Z tech consultant/software engineer life in Murray Hill, filling his days with Diet Dr. Pepper. Because he actually has agreed to help out before with other random crap, Val thought it was maybe a tiny bit possible that he’d agree to do us a favor.

Well, that was unexpected. We keep explaining ourselves, unsure if he’s serious or not.

Okay, so double good news? We get door help and also Val’s brother gets to live out his lifelong dream to be that door help.

Later, the week of the show we checked in again just to make sure he wasn’t screwing with us (he IS 24, after all). But, nope, he was still in. He wanted this, you guys.

Look, the show is about bringing down baddies together and supporting women, as a community.

BUT it’s also about uniting a coder with his apparently lifelong dream to be “the muscle.”

Well, anyway, employee of the month goes to VAL’S BROTHER!

Thanks for helping us out, kiddo. Don’t spend it all on Diet Dr. Pepper.

2. Life Updates

Q. Andie, how’s dating going for you?

A. Recently I’ve been going to Greenwich Village Athletic Club, where you work out 2x a week with the same “squad.” One guy I know who did it said he had to quit because it was “too much single/horny energy” (he’s married). That’s when I decided I would commit to the 12 month membership.

The Athletic Club hosted a gala across all the “squads” and I met a walking red flag who I decided to flirt with for the night. He was 11 years older than me but he had a mustache (my weakness). He told me how he got harassment claims against him from 3 different women at his company but that “they’re fired now, so it just goes to show what was really happening.” Funny what information men will happily volunteer in the pursuit of sex, blithely unaware of how it’s being perceived.

Q. Val, how about you?

A. I have been having a REAL run of men who are perfect and lovely and nice and well-behaved and great on paper…who I am simply not attracted to. I’m getting a little worried that I can’t connect with emotionally available men (I am become fuckboy destroyer of worlds??? 😱)

I know it’s a numbers game and you can’t force chemistry, but there’s gotta be a way to filter for this kind of thing earlier on and not end up on dates with so many uninteresting men. Should I send them some sort of quiz? Like a personality quiz but it’s just like a binary answer, like “yes or no”? Not “What’s your personality?” but “Do you have one?” Buzzfeed, can you get on this please?

We’ll keep you guys in the loop, thanks for reading!

Oh, and send us your gossip/stories so we can feature them in our next newsletter/show.

Love, your favorite Down Baddies,

Andie and Val <3